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March 26th, 2006

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February 25th, 2006

02:24 am - oh wow... Ok, so I really can't believe how long it's been since I last put up a posting. It just hasn't been on my mind to actually put anything up. But I guess now's as good a time as any. So here is what has been going on in my life recently. And I'll try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. So first things first: "Lady in the Dark". This is the name of the musical that the music department is putting on. We started it last semester, and the show is this Friday and Sunday. And I'm really excited, cause my parents are coming up!! My sister is supposed to come on Sunday, but I haven't heard back from her, so I really don't know what I'm going to do about that. But anyhow...I think it will go absolutely wonderfully, but this up coming week is going to be a huge BITCH! Rehearsal every night for ~2 hrs. It's going to be hell I tell you. But it's going to be these rehearsals that are going to solidify everything that we've done over the past 2 semesters. Now in the play, I am Russel Paxton, a very flamboyant photographer for Allure magazine. And Russel is more of a woman than any of the women there, so it should be very interesting to see how it goes. Also, I'm the Ringmaster in the 2nd act. Suffice it to say, it's a large part for that portion of the show, and it's a blast to sing/act, so you should come see me be flamboyantly gay!!! Next thing on the agenda...my life in general. Well so far it hasn't been going too badly. There are some things that could be going better. Like the thing with this guy that I STILL like!! argh!!! I really don't know what I'm going to do about that. Cause it still bothers me like crazy to be around him and not just be completely obvious to everyone around me. But he still doesn't like me like that, so it doesn't matter. Like the other night I was giving him a massage cause we were watching tv and it was so nice to just be there with him. He was resting his head against me while I was playing with his hair, and I was so happy at that time. Then he had to leave cause it was almost 3am. And I started feeling sad. So yeah. Classes are going great!! I like them all, well except conducting, and I think I'll do pretty well in them also. And I just noticed how long this entry has become, so I think I'll stop here. And it's definitely 3am and I have to be up at 9 to take Matt to get his character shoes for the musical. Oh and speaking of sleep, that is something that I really haven't been getting any of lately. It's been very bad, cause I have just not been functioning as I normally do. But for the show next week, I had better get MUCH more sleep than what I am getting now. Anywho, I hope this wasn't too boring, so I'll see ya'll later. PEACE! Current Mood: tired Current Music: You Ain't Woman Enough - Martina McBride

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December 13th, 2005

12:41 am - wow... I can't believe that it's actually finals...this semester has just flown by! Not that I'm complaining, but pretty soon it'll be time to graduate. But I really don't want to think about that. However, this semester has been the hardest yet. Both academically and emotionally. And I just pray that next semester is NOTHING like this one. If it is worse, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. But I'm so thankful that at least my schedule looks better than last semester's! Same amount of hours, but not nearly as difficult of classes. On the bright side, along with finals comes Christmas Break!!! I'm sooo excited to go home and actually spend some time with my family. Granted I don't get home till Christmas night around 9pm, and I'll be missing my mom's birthday, I still get to go home; and I'm always grateful for that. And not only do I get to spend time with my family, my friends are coming down and we're spending 5 days at Disney!!!! How exciting is that!? And so on that exciting note, I must take my leave. Au revoir mes amis! Current Mood: blah Current Music: The Ascent of Stan - Ben Folds

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November 29th, 2005

12:32 pm - woohoo!! You're Grace Adler! You're quirky and energetic, and you have soft spot for gay men. You're ultra-creative and you have a funky, crazy fashion sense. Which Will and Grace Character Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Seven Years - Norah Jones

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November 13th, 2005

12:16 am - Hell yes!!! What Your Blue Outfit Means You're a classic girl with an impeccable sense of style. Down to earth you project a loyal and honest persona. You are sweetly feminine - a strong, tough guy can't resist you. Designer match: Prada Signature accessory: Fur lined leather gloves What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You? Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Dearly Beloved - Faith Hill

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November 8th, 2005

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November 6th, 2005

11:51 pm - I HATE CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I just like completely had an epiphany. I may have feelings for this guy like I've never felt before, but I've just come to the realization that no matter what, it wouldn't have worked, so I'm not even going to worry about it. I'm going to stop trying to get him to notice me differently, and just be what we've been since the beginning...friends. B Cause I also have a very strong gut feeling he doesn't have any feelings for me other than platonic. Mostly cause he doesn't treat me any differently than any of his other guy friends. But I know that I'll always have feelings for him and I don't think they'll go away anytime soon, and it's going to be hard being around him and acting like everything is alright when I know it's not. So that's it...I've given up, and I'm going to deal with it as best I can. And the only way to do that is to act like everything is as it should be!! But now I think is the moment for crying... Current Mood: sad Current Music: Help me make it through the night - Martin McBride

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11:01 am - WTF!!!!! What the hell is wrong with me!? I've soo not been myself lately and I can't figure out what is going on. It's like really starting to get to me, and I don't think I can handle too much more of it. Although, there are some things that might be contributing to this "mood". So there is this guy that I really REALLY like. And it's not some crush or whatever. He's cute, sweet, very funny, although sometimes his humor is waaay out there. But more than those things, he makes me feel good when I'm around him. And it's not that he does anything to make me feel that way, it's just the fact that I'm around him. Isn't that just sick?? But anyway, not only did I tell him all this, I told him that I would like to take our relationship higher, if that makes any sense. So in other words, I would like very much if we could start dating. Well to make a very long story much shorter, he took it well, and said he was thinking the same things, but just wasn't sure what he wanted and he needed to think. So I accepted that, cause obviously I couldn't be like no, I need an answer right now. Well that was just about 3 weeks ago, and I have not heard anything as to what he's been thinking. And it's been driving me CRAZY!!! I just can't stop thinking about it/him, and it's really getting to the point where it's distracting my school work and stuff.And I don't know if Anyway, that's about it for that one, so now on to the next one. This one is harder to deal with, yet easier. So this "friend" of mine is acting very two faced(and this is not the same one that I wrote about last time). And since I don't want to completely give away who it is, I'm going to refer to this person as Paulie. So Paulie has these periods of time when he/she won't talk to me. And they also blame me for stuff which I had NOTHING TO DO WITH!! So yeah, I'm actually going to stop there, cause I'm getting really pissed off. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Walking in Memphis - Lonestar

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10:06 am - ... THE EAGLE WANTS A CANYON AND A PLACE WHERE HE CAN REST HIS WINGS A WHILE THE DRIFTER WANTS A FREIGHT TRAIN THAT WILL CARRY HIM ANOTHER HUNDRED MILES THE LION’S ONLY LOOKIN’ FOR SOMETHING HE CAN SINK HIS TEETH INTO OH AND I WANT YOU THE DEVIL WANTS A FELLA WITH A WEAKNESS HE CAN WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND THE CHAMPION WANTS A CHALLENGER WHO JUST MIGHT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO TAKE HIM DOWN THE RIVER WANTS AN OCEAN TO RUN TOWARDS AND POUR ITS HEART INTO OH AND I WANT YOU OH, EVERY TIME THAT I’M AROUND YOU OH, I’M ON FIRE WHEN WE TOUCH OH, WHEN I HOLD YOU BOY YOU KNOW I CAN’T GET CLOSE ENOUGH YES I WANT YOU I COULD CRY AND SAY I NEED YOU TELL YOU THAT I DIE WHEN YOU’RE NOT HERE I COULD LIE AND SAY I LOVE YOU POUR A LITTLE POISON IN YOUR EAR BUT ALL I’M GONNA GIVE YOU IS NOTHING BUT THE BARE AND NAKED TRUTH BABY I WANT YOU BABY I WANT YOU Current Mood: listless Current Music: I Want You - Faith Hill

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October 26th, 2005

12:35 am - ... Have you ever learned something and felt so betrayed that you don't know what to do or how to act towards that person? Well if you have, then you know where I'm coming from. If not, I hope that you never have to experience the pain and feeling of betrayal. I just found out tonight that one of my so called "friends" is just a huge 2-faced hypocrite(and I don't care if it's redundant, it gets the point across...). She said that she's happy that I'm pursuing a relationship with God, but is very angry that I can be gay also. She also said that she doesn't KNOW I'm gay, so she isn't saying any of this. Oh and get this...she says that she's soo upset that I can't actually tell her I'm gay(cause obviously, we're such GOOD friends), but yet she will say how wrong I am for being this way. I really could go on and on about this, but I'm not going to waste my breath(or finger cramping as the case may be). If that is the way she feels, fine. I can't change the way she thinks of me. But she is in for a rude awakening if she thinks she can be all buddy, buddy with me while I'm standing there in front of me, then start in on how I chose to be this way and not being supportive and still think I'm even going to talk to her(and that might not make much sense, but I understand it, so deal). I haver never felt betrayal before now...now I can understand why people do the things they do when they fell betrayed. Btw sweets, I don't think I could say I love you to a friend, and have it mean more than when I say it to you now. I love you dearly, and if I didn't have you in my life now, I honestly don't think I could go through this. Thank you for all that you have done for me. And since it never gets old...I love you... Current Mood: crushed

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